I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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