My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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