So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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