i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
