how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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