when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
