So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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