I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
