his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Why is your signature on my underwear?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
