Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
