miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
