if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
