There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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