My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
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