All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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