bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
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