Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
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