I hope mine doesn't look like that
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
