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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.

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• (818): View more from California

  my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.

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• (858): View more from California

  I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...

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  23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories

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• (631): View more from New York

  lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon

  (1-631): View more from New York

  wow.

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• (707): View more from California

  She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.

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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one

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  These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (713): View more from Texas

  The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.

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• (818): View more from California

  Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  You were silly, high, and chewing on things.

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?

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