I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
These 23 People Prove You Don’t Have To Be A 10 To Be Good In Bed
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
21 People That Had The Worst Birthdays Imaginable
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.