Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
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