What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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