Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(678): View more from Georgia

So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...

(404): View more from Georgia

In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)

(678): View more from Georgia

cunt.

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(678): So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile... (404): In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;) (678): cunt. http://tfl.nu/sbha

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(443): View more from Maryland

i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's

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(443): i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's http://tfl.nu/fnpd

Replies (38) Good night (3348) Bad night (624)
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(619): View more from California

i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...

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(619): i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"... http://tfl.nu/0of4

Replies (113) Good night (5999) Bad night (1331)
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(815): View more from Illinois

i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"

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(815): i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out" http://tfl.nu/k16a

Replies (9) Good night (1485) Bad night (5400)
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(925): View more from California

after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.

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(925): after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool. http://tfl.nu/mdau

Replies (13) Good night (4448) Bad night (952)
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(970): View more from Colorado

do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?

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(970): do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom? http://tfl.nu/19xa

Replies (55) Good night (1116) Bad night (17213)
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(253): View more from Washington

You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.

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(253): You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow. http://tfl.nu/kcye

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(908): View more from New Jersey

You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.

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(908): You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room. http://tfl.nu/48yw

Replies (6) Good night (3745) Bad night (1062)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know

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(570): I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know http://tfl.nu/nr32

Replies (3) Good night (2030) Bad night (649)
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(301): View more from Maryland

He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.

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(301): He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis. http://tfl.nu/pct3

Replies (10) Good night (971) Bad night (2009)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.

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(201): In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye. http://tfl.nu/tv9w

Replies (7) Good night (736) Bad night (1347)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.

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(978): I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up. http://tfl.nu/kbsr

Replies (0) Good night (1174) Bad night (428)
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(916): View more from California

I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.

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(916): I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot. http://tfl.nu/9evn

Replies (6) Good night (955) Bad night (400)
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(507): View more from Minnesota

I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink

(815): View more from Illinois

I care about my drink far more than her feelings

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(507): I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink (815): I care about my drink far more than her feelings http://tfl.nu/v6if

Replies (3) Good night (1560) Bad night (417)
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(516): View more from New York

Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?

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(516): Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep? http://tfl.nu/76br

Replies (7) Good night (963) Bad night (308)

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