it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
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I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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