did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
