I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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