I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
