i was rollin on her like bob the builder
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
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He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
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I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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