its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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