nut hugger
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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