Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
