how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize