do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
