whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Why can't burritos get me drunk
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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