am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
