im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
