The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I wish you could order shots online.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
