We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
We don't watch enough power rangers
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
