I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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