He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
