I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
