wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
