I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
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