and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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