why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
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