a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
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