I'm so fucking centered right now
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize