i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
