Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
