he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize