idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
