Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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