I'm going to jail i love you
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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