She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
