he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Randomize
