and you said cock pushups were impossible
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
