So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
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I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
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The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.