Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
