I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
that is very illegal...i love you.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
