Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
