I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize