Me. At least after what I've been through.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
