Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
