If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize