she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
