id be glad to
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Welp...herpes.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
