He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
she peed on how many people?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
