her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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