is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
