You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
