Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
