you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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